Waiting Was Our Best Option

My wife and I recently took a trip to Idaho. On the last flight there was a glitch. Before takeoff the pilot and the maintenance people tried various things, and it did not seem like we were making much progress. They took the plane back to the ramp a couple of times, opened the door, and let people know they were not being held. Anyone could legally get up and leave if they wanted. Cynthia and I talked about it. We were convinced we did not have any good options if we walked off that plane. So we waited. Waiting was our best choice at the time.

The waiting was painful, even if it was the best option. We did eventually take off and reach the destination. We landed about 2:15 a.m. The car-rental desk had gone home for the night. We had to find another way to the hotel. We caught a ride. By the time we were in the hotel and hitting the bed, it was 5:30 a.m. in Knoxville.

The word wait means you are doing something you would rather not do. You wait so you can meet the next thing — other people, the world, a flight that still might go. Otherwise there is no purpose in just sitting there. If someone finds joy in waiting, something else is going on alongside it. It is not the waiting itself that is joyful. Waiting costs. We are sacrificing something. If we find something else to do while we wait, we are trying to reduce that cost. There will still be a cost.

In Luke chapter 12, in the story of the servants waiting for their master to return from a wedding, Jesus tells us to be like those servants. If the servant is still waiting in the second or third watch, the reward is greater. He is inviting a sacrifice. In this case it is not only for his sake. It is for ours. When we choose to do what God tells us instead of what we want for ourselves, we are conforming our will to his. That practice builds something in the soul.

When Adam sinned, he brought death into the world. Adam did not wait. He did not sacrifice. He took something that was not his. His will was not aligned with God’s. That lack of sacrifice is contrasted with Jesus’ total sacrifice. Jesus’ sacrifice brings life.

These readings also say we get to participate in bringing life — not only in the ordinary way, through marriage and new children. It is not an accident that the Gospel refers to a wedding, something that is tangibly life-giving. When we follow God by doing not what we want for ourselves but what he wills, we are participating in that work. It is done through sacrifice. Any time you voluntarily sacrifice for the sake of another, and you give the pain and the loss to God, and unite it to Jesus’ sacrifice, you are part of that work.

It gets hard. That is why Jesus asks us not to go to sleep — to stay awake even to the third watch. Awake here means stay awake in him, not merely stay physically upright. That would not be very useful.

If you are stuck and asking whether walking off would at least be movement, start by naming the two lists. What you lose if you wait. What you lose if you leave. We did that on the plane. Walking off felt like action. It was not a way home. Write both lists before you treat restlessness as guidance.

Waiting will still cost. You do not have to pretend it is pleasant. Find one ordinary thing to do with the hour — a call, a meal, a page — so the cost is not the only thing in the hour. That does not erase the cost. It keeps you from inventing a third option that does not exist.

If the thing you want to flee is actually dangerous, leave. This article is not about staying in harm. It is about the hour when leaving is only a way to feel less helpless. Stay if staying is how you get home. Ask God for the will you do not have yet. Then stay awake for the next watch, not for a feeling that the wait was cheap.

This is a pastoral reflection, not clinical care and not a substitute for it. If you or someone you love is in immediate danger, call 988 or local emergency services.

Drawn from a homily first preached in 2019.