It Looked Like Lima Beans

I have this friend who has two daughters. And when these two daughters were about nine and eleven years old, he sat them down at the dinner table and he insisted that they eat a certain food. He really liked the food, and he was certain that they would love it too, if they would just try it. But they didn’t want to try it. It looked gross to them. It was slimy and generally looked excessively yucky. “Please, Dad, please don’t make me eat this. It looks terrible. Please. Please.”

But he wasn’t going to let them leave the table until they tried it. They were crying. They were begging him to just let them go. But he put his foot down. He said that he was going to stay there with them for as long as it took. He didn’t care if they were stuck at that table for a week. They were going to sit and sit and sit there until they tried it.

Of course, by the time they finally tried it, it felt like a week for everyone involved. His wife had removed herself from the scene a long time ago, and she wasn’t happy about the way this was going down.

The way he tells the story, it sounded like a miserable experience for everyone involved. But since his daughters could tell that they were either going to either die at the dinner table or try it, they went ahead and tried it. And very much to their surprise, they really liked it. Little did they know that they actually liked ice cream.

When he told me this story, I was thinking that it was a lot like that for me when I was growing up. Only, my parents made me eat lima beans. Which is possibly the most unlike-ice-cream food ever.

Parents have a difficult chore when raising kids, don’t they? I mean, the parents usually know what’s best for the kids. And the kids don’t. Well, generally the kids don’t. I still have the same opinion about lima beans I did as a kid, and I think I’m right. But with my friend’s daughters, they were probably wondering why their father had turned into such a monster, forcing them to eat slimy food. In his case, it wasn’t because he wanted to be mean to them. He wanted to open their eyes to a world that they didn’t know existed. The world of tasty desserts.

I bring up this story because it relates to this Gospel. Jesus says that unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat. What is this grain of wheat that Jesus is talking about? What will be falling to the ground? What will be dying? And how does the dying produce much fruit? The big idea here is that when we live a life in Christ, we give up our former selves and then we embrace a new life. It’s about dying to ourselves. We are the grain of wheat.

In the early Church, in the first couple of centuries, Christians became Christians through baptism. That was the door into the Church. And there was a fairly intense liturgy involved. In those days, the baptism would take place in the early morning as the sun was rising. The person to be baptized would face away from the sun and look toward the darkness. They would remove their clothes and renounce their previous way of life. Then they’d turn toward the light and then descend into the baptismal font. They’d get baptized there and walk out on the other side of the baptismal font. On the other side, they would then receive a white garment that symbolized their new life in Christ. All of that was a way to play out this aspect of dying to ourselves and living a life in Christ.

What does it look like when we die to ourselves? Well, let’s go back to my friend’s daughters. He pushed them very hard to try the ice cream. He did that because he was fairly certain that they’d eventually benefit from the many days ahead when they might enjoy some ice cream as a treat. He wanted to improve their lives. Now, sometimes parents get it right and they do good things for their kids. And sometimes parents make kids eat lima beans.

There’s a big difference between the human parents that we have and God. God doesn’t have to guess what will be good for us. He doesn’t have to wonder how things will turn out. He has complete and total foreknowledge of how things are going to turn out. Let’s say that we had a different situation where someone was living a life in Christ, and then Jesus tells them to try some ice cream even though it looks yucky. The person that has died to themselves may be scared or dread the chore that’s been placed before them, but they will do what Jesus is telling them to do. Simply because they have died to themselves and are now living a life in Christ.

Jesus himself talks about how he is having to die to his human will and embrace the will of the Father. In John chapter 12, in the story of the grain of wheat, he talks about the kind of death that he’s going to have to endure. He says, “When I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw everyone to myself.” Now, he’s choosing to do something unpleasant and says that he would like to be saved from the experience. But he makes the choice to do that for us. It produces fruit. The bread and wine consecrated at Mass, so that we can partake of the blessed sacrament, is fruit that comes from Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross.

Jesus says, “Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit.” Living this teaching as faithful Christians can be very hard. Of course we want to avoid what seems like a bad thing for us and embrace what we believe will be wonderful instead. However, God does know what is best for us. And when we choose to follow God, we can trust that not only will it be good for us, our choice to die to ourselves, and to do the difficult things God asks of us, will produce much fruit.

If you cannot try the thing because it looks like the old punishment, start by naming which food is on the plate. His daughters were looking at ice cream and calling it slime. I was looking at lima beans, and I still do not like them. Those are not the same dish. Write what is being asked. A call. Getting up. One bite of the day. Then write what you have decided it is. If you have not tried this one, it is not yet lima beans.

The father kept them at the table until it felt like a week. His wife left the room. That is not the step. One try you are allowed to stop after. If it is ice cream, you will know after the bite. If it is lima beans, you do not finish the plate. Force is not the fruit in this homily. His certainty was not the same thing as God’s. God does not have to guess. A parent does.

You can dread the try. In John chapter 12 Jesus says he would like to be saved from the death, and he still does the will of the Father. Dying to yourself here is not pretending the plate looks good. It is one try of the thing you have not actually tasted, and then you may stop. If the thing in front of you is harm, do not eat it to prove you have died to yourself. If you cannot keep yourself safe, call 988 or local emergency services. The fruit in this Gospel comes after the grain falls. It does not arrive before the bite.

This is a pastoral reflection, not clinical care and not a substitute for it. If you or someone you love is in immediate danger, call 988 or local emergency services.

Drawn from a homily first preached in 2024.