When God Opens a Door Onto a Wreck

This Gospel has a lot of fun in it, really. Who wouldn’t want to have been there, at this wedding. It’s like Mary and Jesus’ disciples had just wandered into the fun zone without knowing it. They are apparently already having fun, drank up all the wine, probably responsibly, since that was one of the Jewish customs at the time. Historians argue that moderation was the expectation, anyway. Then Jesus comes along and adds another hundred gallons or so of wine to the party. The party continues, and so did the fun zone.

In my own life, I’ve spent some time in the spiritual fun zone. In one particular case, I recall taking time in our evening prayer before dinner to ask God for a severance package from my job. I wanted to go off and start my own business. Never mind that severance packages were not a thing at my company at that time, and there was no indication that one would ever come along. However, a few days later after my prayer, rumors started flying around when the managers were informed that they would need to be at a meeting early in the morning the next day. I was a manager at the time, and my boss asked me what I thought it was about, and I said, “They’re going to offer severance packages for people that want to leave the company.” He scoffed loudly in my direction. The next day, he learned that I was right.

So that was me, right there in the middle of the fun zone. The year was 2005.

Now, my business idea was to build a paint sprayer that would use ordinary exterior house paint and spray digital images onto the wall. Technically, that’s a hard thing to do, and I’m not going to bore you with all of the physics problems that the non-Newtonian liquids bring, but I’ll just say that after four and a half years of struggling in my garage, I eventually gave up and went back to designing computer chips. It was a weird four and a half years, because my early prototypes always worked initially. But then some variable that I didn’t know about changed, and it would stop working. So it was four and a half years of learning about all the ways that this kind of paint sprayer doesn’t want to work.

At first, it seemed like I was in the fun zone, making some good progress. Then it became the not-so-fun zone, struggling to get anything to work. Then it landed right in the middle of the financially poor zone. Time to give it up. Luckily, I was able to return to my computer-chip design job at the end of 2009, albeit with a different company.

As I returned to employment, I was so completely confused. I could not understand why God would lead me on, so to speak. Why would God grant me exactly what I wanted — a severance package — knowing full well that I was going to end up suffering? Failure, embarrassment, and near financial ruin? Does that sound like a loving God to you?

I’m not unique in this way. I’m aware that lots of people feel like God has blessed them in some way, only later to realize that their trip to the fun zone turned into misery instead.

In this Gospel, Jesus foreshadows the upcoming not-so-fun zone, something that will happen to him and his apostles in a matter of years. Jesus says, “My hour has not yet come.” He’s talking about the hour of his death, definitely far removed from the fun zone. Also, the apostles. They’re martyred. Almost all of them die unpleasantly.

It can be difficult to make sense of it. Why all the suffering? Jesus and his apostles, they suffered. I’m going to guess that most of you would agree that you could get by with less pain and less suffering in this life.

There are so many different ways to suffer too. A friend broke her leg, and that looks miserable. That reminded me of the time I broke my leg in high school. I had three surgeries over a few years to try and fix it. That happened about forty years ago, and my leg still hurts a little bit at times. I’m aware that all of you either currently have similar stories or will eventually have stories like this. Others have serious chronic pain. I haven’t had that. That sounds horrible. I hate being in pain.

There are so many other ways to suffer. Sometimes we have people in our lives that are difficult to tolerate. Often we deal with that at work. Other times we deal with that in our families. If you’ve never had difficulty with others, count yourself lucky. I don’t know how that’s possible, really.

There’s hunger, or malnutrition, or overeating.

Some people really suffer terribly with social anxiety. They become isolated, and life starts to be pretty difficult for them.

Actual OCD is so horrible. I feel so sorry for those people. It’s like they have a mind that just torments them constantly.

Some of you may be overwhelmed by responsibility, taking care of sick parents or others with special needs.

Some suffer terribly from loss, from the death of loved ones, or miscarriages.

This listing of different ways to suffer could go on for a very long time. There is so much suffering, and when we focus on that suffering, it makes the world appear dark and terrible.

Suffering doesn’t make sense if we look only at this world. If this life were all that there is, then pain and hardship would be nothing more than cruel, meaningless burdens. But when we view our suffering through the lens of eternity, it takes on a new meaning. Looking back, we know the many ways that Christ dying on the cross transformed the whole world. Everything is different because of not only his life, suffering, and death, but most importantly, his resurrection. The Church turns his sacrifice into grace upon grace.

In John chapter 2, in the story of the wedding at Cana, Jesus turns water into wine, a transformation that foreshadows the ultimate transformation of suffering into glory. The cross, which appears as a symbol of defeat and pain, becomes the means of salvation and eternal life. Through his suffering, Jesus redeems the brokenness of the world and offers us a share in that redemption.

So when we find ourselves in the not-so-fun zone, when we’re struggling with pain, loss, or confusion, we’re invited to trust that our suffering has eternal significance. God is with us in those moments. He ultimately gives the suffering that we experience a meaning that will ultimately make sense when viewed from an eternal perspective.

The wedding at Cana shows us not only that Jesus is present in the good times, in our celebrations, but also that his grace transforms even our deepest pain into something beautiful and eternal. This is the hope we hold on to, a hope that doesn’t eliminate suffering but transforms it, eternally redeems it.

If you got what you asked for and then watched it fall apart, start with the prayer and the garage. I asked for a severance so I could start a business. A few days later the packages were offered. My boss had scoffed. Then it was four and a half years. The prototypes worked, a variable changed, and they stopped. Write the thing you were given. Write what it became. Do not call the first half a blessing and the second half a trick. In this homily they were the same prayer.

At the wedding he said, “My hour has not yet come.” The hour was his death. The wine did not cancel it. If the suffering is a death, or a miscarriage, or the loss of the life you thought the prayer was buying, do not make Cana erase it. Write the sentence you cannot see the meaning of yet. I do not know why this was granted. Leave it unfinished. The meaning he is talking about is not available from inside the garage, or from inside the week of the loss.

One prayer is enough for this week, and it is not a request for the fun zone to come back. Name the loss. Name that you do not have the eternal view yet. The water became wine before the hour. The hour still came. If you are in danger now, call 988 or local emergency services.

This is a pastoral reflection, not clinical care and not a substitute for it. If you or someone you love is in immediate danger, call 988 or local emergency services.

Drawn from a homily first preached in 2025.