They Were Angry the Others Got the Same
My friends Steve and Dale were two people that I knew in high school. They were seniors while I was a junior, and that meant that they were in the Advanced Chemistry 2 class. One day, they decided to use their class time to help themselves to the chemical storage room for one of their little pet projects. This was not sanctioned by the school, and their skunk works was not known by anyone except the two of them. They made some rocket fuel for a rocket they had built in shop. Even though they could safely purchase the Estes rocket motors, they wanted to make a much larger rocket motor. The two of them knew how to make the rocket fuel. The problem is that they didn’t know better. It seems to be the case that we always learn how to do something stupid before we learn how to know better. There’s a delay between knowing how and knowing better.
As parents with our children, we’re always trying to teach our kids how to know better, because we want our kids to live. And it’s honestly a little nerve-wracking for parents when we see our little ones progressing in knowledge, while they seem to be stuck on their ability to know better. Their knowledge is growing, but not their ability to know better. It can stay stuck dangerously low. And that’s pretty scary for a responsible parent.
Steve and Dale had a big accident in the chemical storage room. As they were mixing their chemicals, the fuel spontaneously ignited and the two of them got burned. Steve’s hands were burned pretty good, and Dale had some damage to his eyes. They both recovered fully, thankfully, but for a few weeks Steve walked around with these large bandages on his hands. It looked like he was wearing giant-sized white mittens. Dale walked around wearing eye patches, and he couldn’t see for weeks.
The parents for these two could see that while they had grown in knowledge, they were not growing in their ability to know better. This was very distressing to the parents, and they really wanted to do everything in their power to help their children know better.
The parents did not blame the school for their kids’ injuries. In fact, the parents really wanted to teach these two a lesson. Honestly, it’s the loving thing to do. After considering their options, the parents asked the school if the punishment for Steve and Dale breaking into the chemical storage room could just be that they have to rely on each other to get through the day. Dale could carry things around, and Steve could be the eyes and provide direction. The school was fine with that, and it worked okay going from class to class. It was a sight to see, but it worked just fine for them. The tricky part came at lunch time. Dale carried the lunch tray while Steve directed him through the cafeteria. Then Dale fed Steve, since he couldn’t feed himself with his hands all bandaged up. While the food experience was tough, a trip to the restroom was worse. I don’t think I need to explain it. You can figure that part out yourself.
Their punishment made a huge mark on them. And they grew in wisdom. Not only did Steve and Dale grow in wisdom, but so too did the other students in the high school. It seemed that respect for the mixing of chemicals suddenly grew by leaps and bounds.
In Matthew chapter 20, in the story of the workers in the vineyard, Jesus tells a parable that is meant to teach his disciples. He is trying to help his disciples know better. The story is centered around the people who went into the vineyard to work starting early in the day. They work the whole day and get a day’s wage for their efforts. They receive the payment that was promised to them. However, when they see that others who worked less are paid the same amount, they express their selfish attitudes. They are unhappy that others are receiving a gift that they did not receive. Rather than be happy for those who received a day’s wage from the generous landowner, they are angry. They know how to focus on themselves, but they don’t know better.
In the parable that Jesus is telling, the self-centered workers are told that the landowner is free to do what he wants with his money. He can be generous if he wants. And if that bothers them, the landowner asks them if they’re envious. Envy is a real problem. It’s not a good thing. Envy causes all sorts of destruction, but most seriously, it blocks us from interacting with others in a healthy way. When we’re envious, we’re unhappy because other people have something that we want. The opposite of envy is charity. When we have charity, we’re happy that others have something that is good for them. Charity connects us in a healthy way to others.
Envy and self-centeredness are real problems for our spiritual life. In the same way that Steve’s and Dale’s actions were dangerous to their bodies, the workers in this parable have envy which is dangerous to their soul. Dangerous to the soul means you need to know better. You need to know better than to be envious and greedy.
We want to have a soul that is compatible with heaven, that will mesh with the way things are in heaven. I really do wonder how often the average person thinks about how shockingly different heaven is going to be. One of the huge differences between this life we have right now and heaven is that our vices are not permitted in heaven. The Church teaches that we have to be perfectly purified before entering heaven. That means that we’re not able to have any of our vices. So for people who have an envious habit, for people who have a self-centered habit, they’re going to need a lot of purifying. The Catholic catechism spells this out by saying that we have our imperfections purified in purgatory. And that doesn’t sound like a fun experience.
So the question is not whether God is generous. The parable already answers that. The question is whether we will do the work to celebrate his generosity regardless of who is receiving it. Will we know better than being upset when others receive and we do not? The first workers in the vineyard were offered a lesson, and that lesson is that they need to know better than to be upset when others experience something good. We get the same choice. Do we want to grow in our ability to know better?
Charity is how we know better. It is the decision to be glad that God has been good to someone else. That is not natural. It has to be practiced. Every time we catch ourselves keeping score — at work, in the family, even in the parish — we are standing with those first workers. Every time we choose to rejoice instead, we are letting God stretch our hearts that will one day live where envy cannot.
If you got what you were promised and you are still unhappy, start by writing the two amounts. What you were offered. What you received. In the parable, those two amounts are the same. The anger started when a third amount appeared: what someone else received. Put that third amount on a different line. It is not your wage.
Then name the feeling in the plain word. Envy. Not “fairness,” if what you mean is that you cannot stand their good thing. Not “I worked harder,” if the harder work was already paid. The landowner in this story does not argue the hours. He asks if they are envious. Answer that question before you explain the other person.
The practice is small and specific. Once this week, when you catch the score, say one true sentence about their good thing without subtracting it from yours. She got the hour you wanted. He got the thanks. They got the same pay for less time. I can be glad they have it, and I still have what I was promised. You will not feel this the first time. Say it anyway. Charity, in this homily, is that decision, not a mood that arrives first.
If the other person received something by harming you, this is not the sentence. Envy is being unhappy that a good thing came to them. A real injury is a different column. Do not call a theft a gift so you can practice being glad. Name the injury. Deal with that. The vineyard story is about a landowner who paid what he promised and then gave more to someone else.
Steve and Dale knew how. They did not know better until the cost was on their own hands and eyes. Envy is the same delay. You already know how to keep the score. Knowing better is the choice to stop treating someone else’s good thing as money taken out of your pocket.
This is a pastoral reflection, not clinical care and not a substitute for it. If you or someone you love is in immediate danger, call 988 or local emergency services.Drawn from a homily first preached in 2026. 