I’ve been married for more than thirty years now, and when I think back on all of that time, there are a few moments that really stick out. The birth of my children comes to mind. We’ve moved two times, and there are big memories made in that process. There are some arguments I remember, but I wish I could forget those. And then there are some of those scary moments, like when I came home from work to see that my wife was still in bed. She wasn’t sick. She said she just didn’t feel like getting up. I remember having great fear because I had no idea what to do to help her. I just knew something was seriously wrong. The next day, the two of us went to see a psychotherapist. Before this time, I viewed these therapists with great suspicion. I can’t remember exactly what my concern was, but it had something to do with my worry that I’d get my brains rewired and I wouldn’t like it. But then, tough luck, right, because what’s done is done. Maybe my sense of humor would get all messed up. I don’t know. It really scared me.
So my urgency with my wife not feeling like getting out of bed completely swamped my fear of therapists and their brain-rewiring machines. I remember leaving that first session with the therapist feeling very relieved that the whole process involved us just talking. We returned weekly for counseling for several months. About eight weeks into that process, I could see that my wife was benefiting from the work she was doing. Not only was she gaining back her ability to function, but I could also see her beginning to thrive in a whole new way. So that’s when I decided that I had some work to do as well. Some of our sessions were focused on me and some were focused on my wife. Looking back at that time, it’s been one of the best things I’ve done in my life. So much anxiety, frustration, and anger left me after all of that therapy. I received a lot of healing in this process.
For my wife and me to receive this kind of help, the work that we did in psychotherapy, I had to get real desperate. There’s no way that I would have gone to a psychotherapist without feeling like I was nearly on fire. But once we gave it a chance, then we learned a lot. We changed. We benefited. And we healed. I learned that the therapists don’t actually rewire a person’s brain.
In Mark chapter 6, in the story of the sheep without a shepherd, the apostles tell Jesus what they had done and taught. Then, with the crowds pressing around them, they try to get some alone time. But the crowds are so interested in sticking with the apostles, they walk on land to the place they expect the apostles to take their boat. Does that sound desperate to you? It does to me.
Earlier in Mark chapter 6, the apostles had been sent out by Jesus to preach repentance, drive out demons, and cure sick people. After doing that, they returned to Jesus. What do you suppose was going on with the people that were so interested in sticking with the apostles? These people had heard the preaching. They had seen demons getting driven out. They had seen people getting cured.
The crowds around Jesus were in desperate need. Some of you experience chronic illness, or have a friend or family member that suffers in this way. If a solution comes along, then you’re going to do what is needed to go get it. When I look at what Mark has written here, he’s talking about people who initially are trying to get the help they need with their sickness. But then, once they are there, they listen to the preaching. And they seem to be very interested in the preaching, because once they receive the healing they don’t leave.
This Gospel reading is right before the feeding of the five thousand. People were so interested in being with the apostles, they went without food for a couple of days. The next few verses record certain details, like the time of day, how people were arranged, fifty to a hundred in each row, for example. We have details like that. But there is something really important that isn’t written at all.
The last verse of this scene says, “When he disembarked and saw the vast crowd, his heart was moved with pity for them, for they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things.” The next verse says, “By now it was already late,” and his disciples approached him and said, “This is a deserted place and it is already very late.”
I think it is so strange that Mark tells us that Jesus taught many things. The next few words are, “By now it was already late.” What did Jesus teach them? We have people so intensely interested in being around Jesus and the apostles that they’re choosing to go without food. Some of their interest was for the healing. But some of it is also for the preaching. If you find someone that can heal sickness just like that, you’re probably going to be very interested in what they have to say.
Why is it, do you suppose, that Mark didn’t write down what Jesus taught? He was okay giving us the time of day. That was really important, because he mentioned that twice. But the teaching of Jesus? Well, that gets left out. We’re talking about the Holy Bible here. The Gospels. Most Christians would say that the Bible is the Word of God, and that it’s all about teaching us. Yet only a tiny fraction of what Jesus taught is recorded. Why is it, do you suppose, that Mark would think it’s a good idea to leave what Jesus taught to the five thousand out of his writing?
By the time Mark wrote his Gospel, which was probably around the year 60, the Church was very much alive and growing. People learned what Jesus taught in the Church. But since many of the firsthand witnesses of Jesus were getting old or dying, people started to write down some of the major events surrounding Jesus’s life on earth. The goal was to preserve firsthand accounts, their observations. But if you wanted to know the teaching, you would go to the Church.
I think that can be a real challenge for some, because the teachings of the Church can be hard. I lived a lot of my life not wanting to live those teachings. Sometimes, living a holy life means giving up the things we want to keep. But here’s the thing. What I’ve noticed in my life and in the lives of others is this, and this is the whole point of this homily. There’s a reason why Mark ties together healing and listening to the teaching of Jesus. He does this in several places. When I choose to give up what is not good for me, and to live a more holy life, I experience healing. I ask you to consider this: in what ways can you conform your life to the teachings of Jesus that come to us through his Church? Are you willing to live a more holy life and receive the healing that God desires for you?
If you cannot make yourself move, or you will not get help until the house is already on fire, start with the day I came home. She was not sick. She could not get up. I did not know what to do. The next day we went. I would not have gone without feeling nearly on fire. Write the thing you have been waiting to be desperate enough to do. The appointment. The call. The sentence to the person in the house.
The fear I had was that a therapist would rewire my brain and I would not like what was left. The first session was talking. If that is your fear, name it, and then make the one call anyway. You do not have to like the idea. I did not. The crowds in this Gospel walked around the lake because they needed what was on the other side. Desperation was the way they got there. It does not have to be the only way you get there.
If you are the one who came home to the bed, you do not have to have the speech. You have to get the person to a person who can help, and you may have to go too. Eight weeks in, she was functioning again, and I still had work to do. Healing in this homily was not a mood that arrived before the appointment. It came after the talking had already started.
If you are in danger now, or you cannot keep yourself safe, call 988 or local emergency services. Do not wait for the fire. The teaching Mark left out is still in the Church. The first step is still the room where someone will talk with you.
This is a pastoral reflection, not clinical care and not a substitute for it. If you or someone you love is in immediate danger, call 988 or local emergency services.Drawn from a homily first preached in 2021.