I Kept Checking the Window for Bombs

To the Jewish people, the notion that the temple would be torn down — completely demolished without the faintest trace of it remaining — was very difficult to fathom. The temple was huge and made of very large blocks of stone. You may have heard of the Western Wall. That is a place where Jewish people can go and lament the destruction of the temple. But that wall is actually just a retaining wall that was in the vicinity of the temple. The temple itself was completely destroyed. The prophecy that Jesus gives in the Gospel about the temple being destroyed came true in a very short period of time. The removal of the temple was a big shock to the system. It was a major change, and they didn’t see it coming.

We experience all sorts of unexpected changes in our lives. Things that once seemed permanent and indestructible dissipate within years. During my college years, a company like IBM seemed to be a corporation that could never be challenged. After that, Microsoft seemed to be in a position of complete dominance regarding the software tools that everyone used to get work done. There didn’t seem to be any real alternative. Today it seems hard to imagine that companies like Google, Amazon, and Apple will eventually follow that same path from complete domination to near total irrelevance. It’s a pattern that repeats: emergence, domination, collapse.

For the people living in Rome at the time of Christ, it was unthinkable that the Roman Empire could ever possibly be challenged. Anyone challenging the government in the times of Christ was rewarded with a painful death. And yet, just a few hundred years after Christ, the city of Rome saw the collapse of the Roman Empire. Later, the Vatican would be built right there on top of that same location. The Vatican houses the leadership of the Catholic Church. That’s a change that the people could not have predicted in those days.

One major point in this Gospel is this: if God doesn’t build it, then it will eventually come to nothing. Many of the things in our lives today that seem unshakable will in fact be changing. We can count on it.

Another point made in this Gospel is that our time in this life is limited. It will end. The reading is apocalyptic. These apocalyptic readings show up near the end of the Church’s year, when we are anticipating Christ coming again, which is associated with the end of time. You do not have to be in that season of the year for the point to hold. The life you are in will end.

Sometimes, when I tell the young children in my life a story about how I experienced some sort of mishap when I was young, I will get the question, “Did you die?” Once kids are six years old or so, they know not to ask that kind of question. Before a kid makes it to first grade, they understand how this world works. No one is getting out of here alive.

In my past, death scared me. A lot. I spent way too many years of my life living in mortal fear of death. I had the knowledge that my life was eventually going to end, but I also lacked any real knowledge of God. As long as I suppressed my thoughts associated with death, I was fine. However, reality would come bubbling to the surface and I’d have to deal with the fact that I’m not going to live forever. There was a time in my life when nightmares frequently awakened me. I’d jump up and frantically look out the bedroom window to see if bombs were going off. I was fixated on nuclear bombs at the time. That happened over, and over, and over. Night after night. When I did this, when I woke up, it wasn’t like I was calm and quiet as I approached the bedroom window. I was in a full-tilt panic. I’m not sure how my wife could stand it.

Thankfully, all of that is behind me now. But that change took a long time. It was a long and slow journey, but I eventually did find out about God, about Jesus, and embraced the life that God has for me. My fears of death were replaced with trust in God. Now, one of the reasons my progress was so slow is that I had some obstacles in my path. Bad theology was a big obstacle. I can’t recall all the places where I would hear this, but there were those that would proclaim their understanding of God, and it seemed to me to be disconnected from reality. They would say that if you join our church, then everything in your life is going to get better. God will give you whatever you want, and it will be paradise. That’s not Christianity. This Gospel reading makes that point very clear. You want to be Christian? Well, here’s what you get:

“They will seize and persecute you. You will even be handed over by parents, brothers, relatives, and friends, and they will put some of you to death. You will be hated by all because of my name.”

Why would anyone ever want to sign up for that? Well, in my experience, that’s a much better deal than the alternative.

A life apart from God filled with anxiety is replaced with a life of trust in God. A life apart from God filled with meaninglessness is replaced with a life filled with purpose in God. A life apart from God filled with fear is replaced with a life of eager anticipation with God. A life apart from God filled with frustration is replaced with a life of peace with God.

In Luke chapter 21, in the story of the temple thrown down, Jesus is not offering a week of peace and then the end. He is telling the truth about what does not last, and about what following him can cost. As Catholics, we’re constantly invited to reflect on our lives and how we’re growing in relationship with God. The invitation is to turn away from the parts of life that are apart from God and replace those parts with a life immersed in God.

If you still wake in a panic and check the window, start by naming what the window is for. I was not gathering information. I was in a full-tilt panic, looking for bombs that were not there. Checking did not make the night safer. It gave the fear a job. Write down what you check, and what you are actually afraid will end. Death. The company. The thing that seemed permanent. The Gospel already said those things end.

Then do not feed the check. If you wake and go to the window, or the phone, or the news, pause and say the sentence before you look. I am afraid this will end, and looking will not stop that. One night, do not complete the check. Sit on the edge of the bed until the panic has a place to go besides the glass. That place, in this homily, was trust in God, and it took years. It did not arrive because I finally confirmed the street was quiet.

If someone is selling you a God who makes everything better and gives you whatever you want, that is the obstacle, not the cure. This Gospel says followers can be seized, handed over, and hated. Trust is not the promise that the temple stays up. It is the decision to stop living as if the only safety is another look out the window.

This is a pastoral reflection, not clinical care and not a substitute for it. If you or someone you love is in immediate danger, call 988 or local emergency services.

Drawn from a homily first preached in 2019.